#and i didnt even learn she was talking shit until years later!!! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

loving-family-poll · 10 months ago

Note

(Confession) I think I’ve got some fucked up cheryl blossom shit going on. growing up I was isolated as an only child literally living in the middle of the woods with only immediate family and I had imaginary friends to keep me company. But they weren’t friends to me. They were my siblings. I actually fucking called them Sister and Brother. Like that was their names.

I was so lonely growing up I used to write fanfiction about me having a twin brother. I wanted someone my age to play with and be close to and I was always drawn to sibling type characters as well as emotionally incestous stories but I didn’t know what that was back then because I was so young. I knew objectively incest was wrong but I was so desperate for someone to be mine, to be close with me and stuck with me so they couldn’t leave me like my friends had as the years went by.

I have two cousins, both a few days apart from me in age. One a guy, one a girl. For some reason I always wanted a brother specifically, I couldn’t tell you why. This guy cousin, I’ll call him Scott, felt like the answer that I had prayed for. I used to daydream about him being my brother. Similar to an anon a while back, we physically fought a lot. I bested him everytime because I’m a buff girlboss or something. I was obsessed with him and there definitely was some emotionally incestous stuff going on from my end—and from what I’ve observed over the years, especially pretty recently now that we are in college, it seems he’s physically attracted to me.

Whats strange about this is im not physically attracted to him. I’m not physically attracted to men at all, really. I’ve always liked women. They were what my first sexual fantasies were about, the first porn I watched, I could go on. Somehow I didnt realize that I liked women until highschool even though I did all of that. It was all because of a movie I watched and I fell in love with the movie character who was a woman and I realized oh. I’ve never felt that way about any of my boyfriends before, or even Scott. Like not even comparably close. That weird nervousness I had around him paled completely compared to the feeling I have for women.

I didnt feel this call for a sister as desperately as I did a brother, but I think that might have been because I always found it easy to become close with other women. An example of how this affected my realization of my sexuality was that I definitely had love for my best friend who I only knew for a year. I’m not sure if I was really in love, but when she moved away it was absolutely fucking horrible. I wrote her letters and left kiss marks on them as my signature and I cried every day for months imagining kissing her before she left “as sisters”. Like that was an actual verbatim thought I had. As sisters. I thought about telling her I loved her and eventually this led to my having fantasies about her etc etc etc. I never thought anything about it until years later.

The other cousin I mentioned, I’ll call her Laura, definitely had some emotional + physical incestuous feelings for me as we grew up. She used to beg me to shower with her, bathe with her, skinny dip with her, do anything and everything with her. She once begged me to let her shave my pubes. I have never had good boundaries and I didn’t really see a reason to say no even though it make me a bit nervous. She was the one with sisters, this was just some sister ritual that I didn’t understand because I had no siblings. So I let her do whatever she wanted and I catered to whatever she asked of me. Over time she started to pull away from me and I didn’t understand, hadnt I done everything she had wanted of me?

About eight years passed where I barely saw her but I learned to live with it because essentially the same ghosting happened with my friends in school. I didn’t understand why they left me but I couldn’t change it so I went with the flow. But randomly she started talking to me again. It was weird because it felt like we were getting along way better than we had before which I hadn’t even noticed was strained. And she was flirting with me. Telling me that my makeup looked so pretty on me, that my hair smelled good, and that she loved my dimples. I smiled at her once and she said, “ohmigosh, you have dimples. I love dimples on girls.”

Very quickly we made it clear without being explicit that we both were into girls one night. Nothing happened, but I think being open like that made her decide to stick by my side for the rest of the visit, unlike her usual routine, and she made me sleep in bed with her and go everywhere with her, like when we were kids.

Then she got a boyfriend.

Last visit I was dejected but happy for her because she seemed so much more happy than she had at any other time in her life. But then, I think, she made a move on me. We were at the local pool at nighttime, all alone. She mentioned wanting some ice cream before the shop closed next to the pool and because my love language seems to be acts of service and turning into mush when pretty girls bat their eyelashes, I very unsubtly ran off to get her ice cream. I think she knew by then that she had me in her clutches because her entire mood changed.

She came up close to me as she ate and very slowly crowded me against the wall. I was like an actual pile of mush trying and failing to eat my own icecream as she talked and I got that feeling in my chest, one I had never had with Scott, ever. She reached to me and adjusted my swim top strap and then brushed my hair out of my face and my body actually buckled. I had thought I was a top up until that point but im. I guess not. And then she fucking asked me if I thought the two of us would be able to fit into the bathtub together, again, like we used to.

I said yes and we rushed off back to the house and I was in the bathroom waiting for her and….she never came in. I went out to see where she was and she was with our grandfather and I did actually subtly ask her did you want to take a bath or anything? Because I’ll take a shower if not….and she told me she was just going to wait etc etc etc. and then I remembered. Her fucking boyfriend. Shit.

If Laura asked I would do absolutely anything for her. I think with Scott we have this Something Weirder Than Sex shit going on and I don’t know what to do on either front.

This is long as fuck but a good read that shit w Laura is wild

#asks #not a poll #incest confessions

24 notes · View notes

kiwibirb1 · 6 months ago

Text

Okay here to create an entire au based on just one song lyric but:

"What if the protagonists just died in the first scene?"

Anne did NOT survive that first week. But the guardian is like "shit didnt think this far ahead ummm ghost?" So Anne is this visible but *mostly intanglibe spirit. she panics at first bc "OMF I DIED" but gets used to it. shes visible, can still interact with people. she has cool ghost powers now. aint all that bad, aint it?

*If she focuses reallyyyyy hard than she can get like. half an hour of tangibleness. MAX

anyway now to over exlpain stuff as it pops into my head but ill put it under the cut dont worry. got the basic stuff anyway alwaredy

So: Reunion. Anne of the year happens and stuff and Toadie is like "some one says their a friend" yada yada yada stuff so anne is still ghost when she goes up to sasha. BUT she has learned that its best to pretend to be alive at least when approaching someone so she float walks up (looks like shes walking but is actaully floating) and then realizes its sasha and goes "Oh shit" and tangibles herself just before the hug. during the ride she lets herself go untangible but still trys to keep herself not see through so sasha doesnt know whats up. anyway while theyre at toad tower she tangibles but is really fucking tired most of the time. fight happens and anne is holding on with everything shes got. except she can feel herself losing focus. Sasha says the whole 'better off without me" line but right before she can let herself go Anne goes intangible again so sasha drops but she knows she was still holding on and she could feel anne so what happened? sasha has a lot of questions. Anne has extra grief bc she was the one who dropped sash. yeah...

Marcy at the gates! Anne is fully prepared to float over the wall and stuff but doesnt bc fam is in danger and oh hey theyre saved and thats a weird looking newt let me float over and help them but- oh. that is a human. who has just seen me be very much not alive. shit.

Anne pretends that nothing happened for a bit and goes tangible and all that while theyre doing the barbirant quest thing. Marcy is like "well, since she's not mentioning it, I must have imagined it!" Until that one bit where Marcy like shoves Anne out of the way. And just goes straight through her. Both girls eyes widen as they process what just happened but Anne takes control and is like "I'LL EXPLAIN LATER LETS FOCUS ON THE FIGHT RN" so yada yada yada thing happens except Anne kinda hides ghostyness a little less bc the secret is already out, not much you can do now. After fight she explains and marcy is broken. She brought her best friend here and now shes dead. She killed her best friend. Breaks so hard in fact that she spills the secret to Anne who is like "what. i- i need time to think" so they dont talk for multiple days besides the king andrias meeting**. Anne eventually lets Marcy explain why and friendship is very strained but Anne learns to move on. Not forgive, not yet, maybe not even ever, but move on. It happened, and all she can do now is deal with the consequences.

**CORE LORE HEHEHE. So actaully gonna slightly change some core lore and shit. Anne takes one look at the crown and it like "that thing is evil and I dont know why" bc she has some extra spirit senses now. She tries to focus in on it and her eyes flash blue for a second and she catches a glimpse of thousands of orange spirits, all with to many eyes, floating around the crown and whispering in Andrias's ears. She cant see them again, but is very suspicious of Andrias now. Thankfully, the core didn't see her. Or did it?

One little spirit, mostly ignored by the rest, saw her looking. For some reason, it doesn't feel compelled to tell the rest of the hivemind. It knows they wont look in it's mind, it has long lost all usefullness, only around because it was forgotten. It itself can't connect with the rest, and has no reason to want to. It follows Anne, leaving the core behind. It watches, silent. Until one day, Anne catches a glimpse of it following her. She doesnt day anything until she is alone. She calls out, "I know you're there." It is surprised, but becomes visible to her. (only her. thats important. but yeah the core ghosts have more control over theyre visiblity and shit.) She is surprised. It seems... so small. "Who are you?" It seems to think. It does not know. It's name has long faded from memory. It tells her so, and she softens just a bit more. "What are you?" It perks up. This it knows the answer to! It tells her of the Core, the collection of Amphibia's greatest minds. She understands why she dislikes the crown now, and what she saw that day. But she also knows that this little fellow wont hurt her.

Anne has a little ghost buddy now. She names it Clementine. (It's faintly orange, just like all the other Core ghosts, but slightly less as it is nearly entirely removed from the hivemind.)

#ghost anne au #dang i put a lot more into this than i originally thought i would.#amphibia au #amphibia #anne boonchuy #ghosts #birb blurts

16 notes · View notes

jerrydevine · 1 year ago

Text

ok movie may rankingsssss its quite frankly soooo fucking long so i put it under a read more :) MWAH

31. moonage daydream 2022 um so when todd haynes basically said that reagan being in power was david bowies fault in velvet goldmine i get what he was saying when i watched the second half of this. it was so annoying listening to bowie talk about how he was like crazyyyy back then now hes normal (annoying and not in a fun way) boo

30. ladies and gentlemen, the fabulous stains 1982. ok this was actually a flop i wanted to like it so bad but i did not. boo

29. the daytrippers 1996. this was such a movie my indie snob cousin loves. it kind of felt like a long ass seinfeld episode. sorry women. the gay reveal was not. fun. it was 90s straight people trying to do a twist :/

28. muppet treasure island 1996 was ok. it was no the great muppet caper ..

27. spontaneous 2020 i did cry because of this movie i thought it was just gonna be a silly heheh good bad movie but i did cry. and they played forth of july sufjan stevens :(

all the movies after here i would rewatch and i liked :) i had a good movie may !!

26. descendants 2 2017 was not as good as descendants 1 or 3 to me now .. but thats ok they literally had chillin like a villain and the letterkenny guy

25. descendants 3 2019. hmmm i wanna keep her by descendants 2 just so theyre not lonely in this list. the plot was like ok mal having to do her morality thing again thats ok. evie was soooooo izzy lightwood and her loser ass march band boyfriend was sooo simon :)

24. murder on the orient express 1974 was better than death on the nile 1978 and there was a character with my name :) but i think i do not care as much about agatha christie mysteries as i thought i would. thats ok :)

23. arrival 2016 is prob one of the first times i knew about the specific field of the protag and it made me so mad because i spent the whole movie like. she would not fucking do that. she would not say that. come on. and of course the u.s. propaganda was like a frontal migraine but i guess it was good

22. the handmaiden 2016. why didnt anyone tell me about. you know. the plot of the movie. great lesbian sex but what the hell wasall that.

21. donnie darko 2001 was like ok what . fine ok whatever

20. emma 1996 holy shit i watched a lot of 1996 movies this month. ummmmm ewan was there and it was literally emma. what more do you want me to say. it was good ish :P

19. dungeons & dragons: honor among thieves 2023 was so long no movie should be longer than 2 hours but it did feel like playing d&d with my buddies and sophia lillis was there :')

18. i know what you did last summer 1997. its like none of you even care that kevin williamson who wrote this AND scream 1996 is literally a gay ass homosexual man. and my friend.

17. red army 2014. i feel like this should be its own other thing because it was just a movie i would watch at 15 to learn as much about hockey as humanly possible. and not for fun for like mental illness reasons. anyway hockey :)

16. crip camp: a disability revolution 2020 is like red army 2014 like. informative and interesting documentary ! not able to rank it with fiction films i dont think so dont take its spot too seriously.

15. poison 1991. dont worry about it im just studying todd haynes and this movie was not as good as other movies i watched this month but actually its the best movie ever after velvet goldmine. or not its not in my top 3 todd movies of all time but thats ok it still set up many of the things he talks about in his later films esp the connection between the horror section and safe 1995 :)

14. the secret world of arrietty 2010. i didnt watch this until this year bc it was released just after when i would sit down and watch a new little ghibli movie. i wanted to rewatch totoro more than watch new ones.but it WAS the borrowers sooo fun :)

13. monty python and the holy grail 1975. they made lancelot soooooooo ugly which was like a joke in itself to me because lancelot would never look like that. but umm yeah my dad loves this movie and so many little jokes i thought were just family jokes were actually from this movie hehehe

12. the great muppet caper 1981 literally had peter falk in it and they knew they were in a silly movie and they kept saying kermit and fozzie were twins it was so silly and fun :)

11. seven up! 1964. british people getting studied is literally so real and true. i cant wait to continue in the series and see how these kids change..

10. some like it hot 1959. I NEED TO WATCH MORE MARILYN MONROE MOVIES ASAP BTW THIS MOVIE ROCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

9. this is spinal tap 1984. ummm yeah this was good. very good even. and christopher guest from my movies was there doing a horrible accent it was awesome :)

8. dottie gets spanked 1993. okok this is my todd haynes auteur studies and it is such a short film that foreshadows his future work i love you forever and ever my best friend todd haynes :D!!!!!!!!!!

7. videodrome 1983 had crazyyyyyyyyyyyy special effects i enjoyed the blowing up bodies and the tvs trying to kill you and the toronto..

6. big eden 2000 i wish they didnt have that whole plot with his high school bestie that was annoying and not whimsy but everything else and i mean EVERYTHING else was sooooo good and beautiful and i love you movie

5. elvira's haunted hills 2001 YIPPEE ELVIRA!!!!!!! RIFF RAFF WAS THERE!!! she talked like she was still a 2000s california girl but in 1850s europe it was awesome

4. rye lane 2023 was sooooo good and love is real and i need to go to england or i will die . woah that was an anglophile ass sentence but its true.

3. stardust 2007 YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO basically thats it. it was a movie that loves whimsy and the power of love. beth please watch it i mean it you would love it soooooo much

2. the watermelon woman 1996 i love you lesbians i love you movies i love you movie lesbians. everyone should watch it its soooo good

1. velvet goldmine 1998 my best friend forever of course no one could be better <33

#ok heheheh thank you beth and abby for the reminders :)#if you guess the top movie you know me for realzies plus i love you <3 #talk #ref

6 notes · View notes

bishiglomper · 2 years ago

Text

I feel like shit. Mentally and physically.

I think my mother seriously has some kind of personality disorder going on. This family throws around "narcissist" as often as autistic, especially about my father but now I'm wondering if thats not my mother. I think she's autistic sure, but the shit she did last night. Jesus. It went beyond misunderstanding.

She went to my sister, who was anxious, to tell her what she was doing for the house. I left. Because i was promised I could have 72 hours before thinking about it and i was determined not to do so.

I came back later to find my sister crying. She is overwhelmed. Being sick has her feeling like shes not going to be able to keep her end up because she's the one whos strong and does all the heavy lifting and labor intensive shit. She thought mom had come to tell her what she could do to lessen the load. My sister's response was something like "I'm not worried about your shit because i know you've got it under control"

Mother took extreme offense to that because she did NOT go to my sister to make her feel better, but to also be like "i dont know if I can take care of my shit" so she felt absolutely invalidated.

So obvious misunderstanding, right?

Mom comes in from smoking after this. She asks me to see her in her bedroom. I asked if it had to do with house things. She said yes. I politely declined.

She smoked again. I amended my statement, "if its about laundry or something I'll come but I'm not ready to talk about the house" thinking shes gonna tell ME her plans but i am very not ready to make plans.

Btw my sister made me shake and bake chicken so I didn't blow my bloodsugar up on pizza or something. I offer some to mom.

She snaps that she wants absolutely nothing from either of us.

..... Uhm. The fuck?

She blows up. Makes my sister blow up. Explanations come out because obviously they both had the wrong assumptions. My sister is very good about getting her point across without the use of nasty names or comments despite getting royally pissed.

You'd think mom would understand that obviously my sister meant her no invalidation over her worries, she was trying to be supportive but worried about her own responsibilities.

Round and around she went explaining how she meant no offense and that she felt bad she had hurt her feelings.

And after all that my mother is like "CAN'T WE SPEAK KINDLY TO EACHOTHER?" She says this twice.

And I had to watch my sister take a moment to compute how to answer that. Again. Because my mother was the one doing all the attacking? And she already said yes?

So where does that leave us? Groveling, of course. Wtf else are you supposed to do when you explain your intentions until you're blue in the face and they're still offended and want retribution?

Also I'm waiting to know just what tf I did to offend her too. Finally she turns to me and with the most heartstricken voice goes "I wanted to talk to you about your sister but if i can't even talk to you- what am i supposed to do if you're not in my corner?"

Btw whenever shit like this happens, if mom gets upset, she is obsesseed with me "being in her corner"

Btw she does not vibe with my style of support. Because i like getting both sides of the story so i can then tell her where the other side is coming from in attempts to quell misunderstandings. Because thats the logical (i.e, autistic) thing to do, right!?

But she literally takes this as being a "traitor". She called me one for YEARS after a fight with her sister until i told her that it upset me. She kept referencing it. Now she'll focus on the current affront instead of calling up past receipts. But still. I have learned to not say anything at all unless asked directly and otherwise pat her head and go "you're right, that's horrible what they did" even though it feels disgusting to do it.

But that's not even the worst part, once I got over my internal screaming, I said that i was promised 3 days of not panicking so i just didnt want to talk about the house. She pretty much said "WELL, YOU HAVE TO"

She pretty much left after that.

My sister then turns to me and says she is SO SORRY she did that

I'm like.. did what

Get into it with mom. Apparently it's been stewing.

She said things like "you do not get to be upset with me for having feelings" like. Completely mature and valid statements??

And shes just apologizing profusely to me.

I had to tell her she did ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong.

Jesus. The trauma this family has.

So of course because my bubble had been violently ripped away, i got up, put my braces on and tried to clean.

Unfortunately I am one of those people who need steps written out and tasks clearly defined.

So I did the basic functions I knew how to do, which is always "trash, dishes, clothes". Anything else I come across not in those categories goes in a pile behind the couch to be sorted at a later date. I only got through 1/2 the living room before i started running into nephews shit, christmas shit, or shit otherwise not able to be thrown into the random piles.

At some point mom comes up to me. I am not happy with how she treated me. I did not want to talk to her. So I'm just working, politely ignoring her and instead focusing on my panic cleaning.

And she goes "has it been 72 hours?" Like what are you cleaning for?

And I literally stopped I was so fucking baffled. Like are you fucking kidding me?

I cannot take that question as anything but narcissistic. Autism does not explain it. It's just fucked up.

So yeah I'm dying to know wtf is wrong with my mother, this requires research. I would ask her therapist, we use the same one, but I don't think she'd tell me her diagnoses directly. She only shares things like that if its in a blanket statement like "you all have codependency" 🙄

But yeah I went to bed crying, exhausted, sick. Never got to play video games at all yesterday.

And I'm still offended by my mother which is hard to hide because I just. Dont want to speak with her. I just do not have the fucking energy to mask.

I got fed up with the nephew last night. He literally does not know how to respond to anything without backtalking.

His mom hands him food and is very neutrally like "you can have the tv for an hour" and his reponse is JESUS CHRIST.

I'm like No!! The correct response is "okay" or "thanks mom" not JESUS CHRIST. Stop talking to your mother like that!

I said all this riled up but I made sure I didnt sound accusatory or anything. Just very "LISTEN TO MY WORDS"

I don't like the behavior. Its not okay. Theres no fucking reason for it.

My sister always shuts me down when i try to correct his behavior, especially if hes being a straight up asshole for no reason other than to cause harm to his mother. Like he does this on purpose, he has explained it his own fucking self. And my sister said to let him do it because "she can take it"

And then she does the placating voice, the completely whipped "let me appease you, lord" voice and begs for how to make him happy. It's ridiculous and harmful as fuck! To all parties!

I am amazed by the fact that both of her children are even capable of being sweet lovely people. Because this type of child rearing has got to create complete assholes.

I mean, there's strategic skills needed in dealing with autism, of course, but that doesnt mean he doesnt still need to learn to control what comes out of his damn mouth. 😤😤😡

Whenever i try to explain that, he literally blames his father's temper.

Bro has a questional temper but he does not talk to his child like that. Or to ANYONES face. Or abuse him. He talks ABOUT people like the bigoted asshole he can be but i digress.

It's fucking terrifying to imagine what sort of adult this is creating.

#personal #long post #ranting #( ⁍᷄⌢̻⁍᷅ ) sorry #talk about not being in moms corner who tf is in mine? at least she has a boyfriend she can rant at all i got is the cpid of tumblr #so i make it all yalls problem 🤣#my sister asked if im staging a detailed coup #because i have apparently been typing for an hour #its therapy stfu #mental illness #family trauma #child raising

3 notes · View notes

thenewpathfinder2024-2034 · 1 month ago

Text

"I was struggling with quitting fire dept before David was killed. Thought I was finding the light at the end of the tunnel & then that train hit. Trying to find a new perspective. Lots of his side pieces came out of the woodwork. Hell I didn't know he had a wife before Cary. She's acting like they were still married same as Cary. I've had some if his side pieces of David reach out & try to be friends. No thanks. Most of his were psychotic."

I've always felt that I have to be really close to perfect to get peoples approval or love. I made straight As in high school and college, metals in the US Marine Corp, health and safety manager at a chemical plant, special operations firefighter, professional photographer and outstanding diver, it never seemed to be enough. Everyone has always expected more. It's exhausting if im being honest. Adds SO much stress to everything I do. I guess that's a big part of why I struggle so much with selfish people in my life.

We did have a lot of fun. I told someone about that a couple of weeks ago when we were in Fl. Friend ordered prawns & I busted out laughing. They couldn't figure out what issue was. Told the story & then hers came the same way. She sent them back. Lol. Was talking about Thailand & the bad driving by the motorcycle driver. Thailand trip. Lol that was kind of a disaster but parts were fun. We mostly had fun. Some days/times were better than others. Don't think it was intentional but we were either both doing well or we were doing bad hustle wise. We had our friends separate from us. Some days that was good & others it wasn't. We were either all in or didn't give a shit. I felt like I cared when I shouldn't have & im sure you felt the same some times. I will even admit that at one point I thought we would make a good family. Then realized you weren't leaving the guys you found for confidants. Think that was my lightbulb moment that I should have moved on. I didn't which made me want to kick myself years later. I always hang on too long hoping that I can do something to make a change. What a dumbass!!!

That was how I felt originally but then we did a lot like a family over the years. It changed what I wanted. Some things happened & made me feel stupid for thinking that could ever be possible. I'm not a prince, fairytales don't come true. Communication was ALWAYS our problem!!!! We assumed we knew what the other wanted too much instead of asking. I'm not the same person I used to be. Learned some Really hard lessons along the way. None I care to repeat. I honestly wondered some days what you were doing. Couldn't understand what you were trying to prove & to whom. Figured it wasn't my battle to fight so quit. I live in today. The past wasn't kind to me & tomorrow isn't promised. I make alot of plans b/c that typically leads to me doing almost everything spur of the moment.

I finally have a great retirement. Probably something I should work on more but another complication. Everything I had invested I saved by movinb it in time. I will leave a big boy job with benefits less than a year. Until then who knows. There have been many horrible things said over the years by both of us. Just know that in all of our time together that I never cheated on you, entertained anyone else, I appreciated the things you did for me & I truly loved you. Despite all that has been said & what you thought or still think is true, that is the truth. I acted bullet proof. You were either in Go mode, or Sex mode. Seemed to be very little of in between. A lot of the time I felt like you were only with me when it was convenient. We would make plans & something better would come along so you left me hanging. I will never forget we had come home from work, showered, played & then went to sleep. Woke up & you had left a note that you were going to do something for a friend. You were going to come right back & didnt. Came back drunk and you said didn't know where you were at. We had had such a great morning & I was ready to pack all my shit & hit the porch. I was SO pissed I was fuming. I was at first dating a married woman who was never leaving her lifestyle. What else did I expect. I was done with you but let you come back a few days later. You said it was a miscommunication. That was probably the start of our demise. Just FYI... I always liked buttering your bread. LolI'm trying to learn to chill. My problem is when I have down time, I get in my head. NOT a good place to be. That's what happened to me this Sunmer. I wanted to be home all Summer & thought I would do a ton of cool things. Got what I wished for & liked it. Impossible travel plans came through like rain it was amazing.

I've never been great at expressing my feelings. Makes me vulnerable. Only a few times I really fully trusted you. That's a big part of why I didn't share b/c I didn't want things to change. Anger, frustration & shutting down was b/c I didn't think I could tell you how I really felt or what I wanted. I knew you had others & if I didn't say or do the right thing you would give them my time. That's the last thing I wanted. You have to remember that i don't recall you asking either. Again too much assuming what was needed/wanted on both of our parts. I have nothing to lose now by being honest. Last time we spoke you said some really really mean things to me. Amongst those that you hated me. If you go away today & we don't speak again for several more years at least you will know how I feel for better or worse. Not saying anything to be mean or hurt your feelings b/c that's definitely not my intention. Just letting you know my perspective. You know I don't really think we ever said I love you to each other that i felt it was real from you. Nice to know hindsight. Sure would have been nice if we hadn't let our egos get in the way, huh? I did those things b/c I loved you. Wasn't big on saying my emotions then, more of showing my love. Funny I tell people all the time that I love them now.

I don't do what I do for recognition. I do it b/c it's the right thing to do. These days that's few & far between. I was raised by some damn heathens but I was taught to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. I would want others to help me if I was in the same situation. Luckily I've never needed much help b/c I can honestly say probably 90% of people I've helped wouldn't lift a finger. That's ok b/c I never expect anything in return.

I come out on the other side of my problems doing well b/c there is no other option for me. I have no one to rely on. Nobody is going to do it for me except me. That is the realization I live with everyday!!! Sad state of affairs if I do say so myself. I love it due to the fact that I have honestly, responsibility, and accountability.

Happiness & Joy sound great. I hope you succeed.. Many lessons learned on both sides. I'm glad you reached out. I'm quite content with having lunch or a drink if both schedules match but understand there will be walls & Armour as you like to call it. Nothing personal just protective. You really were my safe space sometimes but still felt judged a lot for not having my shit together too. I was just thinking while I was on the phone that I must have not thought you were being genuine. Or we weren't in a good place when you said you loved me. You used to do extra stuff to make up for when you had stood me up or acted crazy. Maybe it was one of those times. As a general rule a year or so into us I would have been over the moon. But the first of many "just friends" off of tender was the last of us honestly.

0 notes

thenixkat · 2 months ago

Text

i just think the opening theme has a lot of implications about the nature of kaiju in the setting with how it opens but i need to aquire more info to like organize my thoughts I do still firmly sit in the camp that post kaijufication, Kafka is a kaiju that can shapeshift to look like a human and not human that can turn into a kaiju. WHich is supported apparently supported by his xrays later in teh series. So, how breakable and human functioning he is in human form doesnt gel with me. IDK ALso Kafka's greatest ambition being to keep his promise to his childhood bestie and fight monsters by her side is adorable

but also like, sir, pls dont kill yerself to fulfill yer goal for a lady who dont even call to check in on you. Even for platonic reasons. Like you can make new friends

like as far as I gathered tiger lady dropped this man after he failed to pass the test to joing the government monster slayers. ANd like dude tried for years, I assume he tried every year till he aged out of being able to apply until the age limit got raised. And she mad/disappointed at him for not being able to make the cut. Like, yo, people have limits. Not everyone is physically able to get into the job they really fucking want to get into even if they do their best, sometimes a person's best isnt good enough like good on him for deciding to give it one last try, but like deciding to keep going in a test with broken bones b/c youve decided that yer not gonna give up anymore is not very healthy mindset

like, riding the angsty teen into battle is better than walking on that broken leg but being jostled around like that is not good for his wounds damn hhh ok. damn they not letting that man have a W for more than five seconds are they? I do wish whoever worked on this dub would translate the Japanese text on screen. I have the same complaint with Dungeon Meshi for doing the same thing. Like, dubbers used to fucking translate the text too what happened to that?

rich blond girl has daddy issues and I'm probably supposed to care but no. I hate her for what she did to my guy's vehicle, the vehicle his boss let him borrow at that. Rude ass kid oh hey, an antagonist. That mushroom headed humanoid kaiju with a better design than the protag. Shot the rich girl and is reanimated the other kaiju that died during the test heheh nice

ok that got a laugh from me! Rich girl going through it with daddy issues and not being ok with the intelligent kaiju that just revived the one she just killed. Shouts 'I have to be perfit!' and gets fucking slapped into a building by the revived bull kaiju. heheheheh the fuck is that facial hair

also rich girl's emotionally neglectful father and source of daddy issues hahahaah she got slapped again hah I assume this isnt supposed to be funny but I don't give a singular shit about this asshole rich kid. Ha ha she got slapped ok, Kafka's bad at secret identity-ing and also way nicer to rude kids than I would be

damn yall can't let this man be cool for more than a moment b4 trying to be funny yeah Kafka stronk another one punch gore rain Kafka gives advice to kids about taking risks that he very much doesnt follow. Angsty teen comes and chews his ass out for transforming in the middle of the monster killing exam at the monster killing headquaters b/c the angsty teen is worryed that his friend might get executed angsty teen is an increadibly responsible teenager i should probably learn his name, I do like him

Ichikawa apparently. lady fucking talk to yer ex childhood bestie damnit. both of you need to socialize

ma'am that's not what i ment yer not good at expressing yer feelings lady ok at least rich girl aint a snitch i'll give her that bad guy intelligent kaiju really in a damn bathroom listening to the news and disappointed that their stunt didnt kill any humans

uh bad guy humanoid kaiju can also shapeshift into a human. WHich explains the clothes hanging up on the stall …why this mfer got to get naked to listen to the news??

oh… uh… bad guy kaiju shifter… is one of Kafka's coworkers at his kaiju clean up job ok interesting that's def an interesting hook to end an ep on

#nix meows #nix watches cartoons #kaiju no. 8

1 note · View note

kaleschmidt · 1 year ago

Text

actually. thinking of jack n peter in the lambchop tkp au (<- HAS NEVER TALKED ABT IT BEFORE)

ok. putting it all under cut

tw 4 child death, mention of manipulation, neglect, implied stalking

ummm. i dont wanna share the doc bc dave :[ she gets w-word the whole time and psike gets d-word + he/him'd the whole time too. also the horrors. ...also it actually vaguely touches on spoilers for tkp. my co-writer for it doesn't know .

the whole jist is:

pinto (my friend's oc)- unfortunately comes into henry's grasp n being a demon; is subject to coming under henry's care bc. her mom fucking sucks n doesn't go to look for her (<- pinto even says "yeah my mom leaves the door open so it's ok if i go out ! +v+")

yadda yadda henry manipulates pinto just like dave while raising her (BARELY. PSIKE IS THE ONE WHO TAKES CARE OF HER MORE. Ne's a big brother to pinto until ne dies 2 years later)

henry has her kill.. has her come with him on one of his freddy trips (where he gets peter KILLED. but it's ok bc peter got to see pinto breaking it down) (IT'S NOT OKAY?????????)

pinto also eats his soul btw . henry manipulated her to .fcukass

anyways yadda skip 2 years later, psike dies while pinto watched nem work (ne died protecting pinto this time), days later, pinto gets springed; and some time after is when peter becomes more actively involved now that it's just 2 souls in a bot

ok main jist mostly down right?

fast forward to dayshift 1 + cue jack. he goes through dayshift 1 normally and then it's dayshift 2 and... caroline ??? is there as a phone-head? he doesn't know why, but something just feels. off abt this. but he goes through it (<- note, i don't have any of this written out. the lambchop au mainly focused on pinto's perspective)

then dayshift 3.. he goes through with the good end as normal, but WITHOUT evicting naomi bc caroline is there now (she didnt get into a crash! yay!)

but like he gets to the end- the final level of the flipside. and there is a woman he has never seen before (it's martha btw) and for some reason he feels ANGRY. like this isn't supposed to happen.

...and he abandons the run.

he does this a couple more times- repeating everything. but it all ends the same: that woman is there, instead of someone else.

he knows peter is missing. for some reason he feels like peter's supposed to be here, but... peter isn't. and jack doesn't know why.

so he finally gives up. goes for the normal end. buys lambchop, not knowing pinto and PETER are in it. peter had only seen jack from after the newscast of dee happened, but then nothing else. peter recognized his little brother, but he couldn't bring himself to call out to him. in this au... peter and jack hadn't reconciled (or at least the best they could) over dee's death not being jack's fault, so this affects the both of them in different ways.

so, peter thinks it's better to keep pretending to be a 'normal' animatronic (minus the occassional accidental murder. henry put that mechanic on the lambchop animatronic. she's like baby except she really does harvest souls)

ne wayz jack big bucks! he finally buys out his old house and moves out of caroline + naomi's house... for the best. he couldn't stay there any longer

naomi catches wind of smth going on with jack, and knowing that jack was fond of lambchop (note: he tolerated her more. but it was the same 2 naomi) fae breaks in with the intent of making lambchop sentient! (fae doesnt know.)

naomi eventually picks up lambchop isn't just ai but is ok.. still takes her home.. also vicktor works there! soon learns that not only is lambchop possessed by pinto, but peter too! naomi doesn't know who peter is

anyways.. christmas day; yadda yadda; jack + naomi get into a fight over naomi bringing lambchop 2 keep him company.. naomi lets loose that A SMALL CHILD IS IN THAT FUCKING ROBOT because jack was being stubborn abt not being alone and wouldnt accept the 10 ft robot into his home and jack is like "🧍‍♂️ you have to be shitting me." and keeps denying that he doesn't need company, he's better alone, and leaves.

anyways. naomi breaks into jack's home (aka she drives there with lambchop to jack's home and politely knocks. also davetrap bothers them for a bit (he may or may not have spotted depressed jack and went to his house. it was totally fine.) but it's ok because naomi tackles her and lambchop apprehends him)

naomi tries to force jack to tell lambchop straight up why she couldn't stay with him, but jack, stubbornly refusing to, snaps at naomi and the two of them fight in front of pinto, causing peter to take over for lambchop and um. god. peter speaks and jack just. tries to deny that lambchop is possessed. because he knows that voice. he's starting to realize where peter went .

and they talk abt it and oh my god this kinda detracted from the point i was gonna make. huh. fcuk. sorry the lambchop au makes me feel things .

jack still argues at peter, still trying to place himself in the right until he just... tells peter to go away. n peter knows his brother. he knows aggravating him more would do nothing.

i think jack does regret arguing with peter still, ESPECIALLY with that being their first interaction after... god knows how long.

...it pertains to when naomi gets caught up in trouble and pinto (<- only she was able to go through to the flipside), jack, and co have to go through the flipside and reach the end again.

even thought jack claimed to be angry and frustrated at peter, and even though he knew where his soul was.. jack was even more frustrated that martha was still in his place. that he still couldn't save him.

........that was literally the whole point i was trying to make. anyways that's all. hope that help

#Grave's Digs #TabbyKat Rambles #It. was hard to keep it brief bc if i didnt include some parts it would've been confusing #I WAS WORKING ON THIS FOR AN HOUR. FUCK MAN

1 note · View note

yabai-erasure · 2 years ago

Text

2022 kpop wrap up

bro this year did not let up for a second

quick thank yous

wjsn chocome super yuppers thank you for making camp kpop again

fromis_9 dm was the first choreography i learned this year thanks for letting me be a sexy queen for a bit

taeyeon INVU music video was so aesthetically in sync with endwalker that it blew my tiny weed addled brain

pixy villain goth bitches rise up

twice celebrate yeah i cried when they renewed ok

dance class staples

viviz bop bop i didnt watch queendom2

ive love dive you already know

aespa illusion sluuuurp

b side spotlight

rocket punch in my world

red velvet bamboleo

purple kiss singles were ass but their bsides were gold

twice basics fuuuuck yeah dude

itzy racer vocal fry queens

wjsn done dont disband dont disband dont disband

fav post-izone project

i cant even tell you how much joy i get out of seeing most of the izone girlies thriving. yena, yuri, chaeyeon, and eunbi all made fantastic solo songs, wonyoung, yujin, chaewon, and sakura are tearing it up in ive and le sserafim respectively, and I even got peeks of nako and hitomi throughout the year. like, my tiny heart cant take it.

i loved eunbi in izone, i loved her when i watched produce 48 this year, and as a soloist in 2022 she absolutely impressed me. her icy voice and house instrumentals are just what i need and i thoroughly loved glitch and underwater

fav songs i changed my mind about

okay O.O literally had me by the throat until the let me be your super heroooo and then i lost interest. I think I had hit superhero mental saturation from existing on the internet for the last five years and hearing the word superhero was somehow the last straw & i was just like fuck this song. I was wrong dude. several months later, my bedtime edibles would hit and I'd be typing O.O into the youtube search bar multiple nights a week.

also

billlie gingaminga yo

I reluctantly got into boy groups this year

I got into kpop back in 2013 because the goth bar near me had a monthly kpop night. the bartenders were mean as fuck but made unbelievably strong drinks, and they would project the music videos onto a huge screen and my roommate and I would get sloshed and try to twerk to HyunA. It was a simple and beautiful time. but. the DJ who ran the event was such an unabashed EXO stan and we would spend half of the night drunkenly talking shit about her not playing enough girl group songs.

it makes zero sense for me to still have this chip on my shoulder, especially in a year where pretty much everyone agrees that girl groups dominated the industry, but I've been admittedly ignoring boy groups for the majority of my time as a kpop fan and it just started to feel unfair.

drag me for this but Blessed-Cursed got its claws into my brain. I was sick of not knowing what naega byeonhae meant. I liked doing the silly anime pose choreo during Thunderous. I'm like, vaguely aware of who the members of Seventeen are. wow. truly in my growth era. dont ask me about nct tho

who i'm watching for 2023

Fifty Fifty had a no-skip debut mini. higher is fantastic dizzying bubblegum pop, log in is?? cyber girl crush?? lovin me is smooth af, this mini is just so polished for a debut

CSR ohhh myyyy goddd are they filling such a sorely needed niche in kpop right now. I couldn't get into pop? pop the fuzzy effect sounded vaguely horror movie to me, but loveticon is wonderful I can't wait to see what they do next.

period

basically nothing i can say about these tracks, if you listen to them you feel the impact

le sserafim antifragile

ive after like

newjeans ditto

i hope 2023 is better for yall

kep1er good luck truly

itzy blink twice if you need help burying jyps body

loona unionize

closing thoughts

I got to see Twice play in new york and that was sick. thats all

#kpop #wrapup

0 notes

symphonicmetal101 · 2 years ago

Text

MC FIRST IMPRESSIONS TAG GAME

I used this picrew to do it, but you totally dont have to if you dont want to. What was your mcs first impression of the brothers? I might do a part two with everyone else.

Ok I'm stealing Ivy's idea- and Inky's and Max's

This is when Viz first came to Devildom

Lucifer

Lucifer and Viz had a rocky relationship. Viz had no fucks left to give so if Luci killed her, she didnt care. She called him out on all his shit, and of course, she also had Diavolo's favour...so Lucifer was always hesitant to retaliate. When he did, she had a comeback right away. They've since become friends and call each other out on their overworking and when perfectionism becomes harmful.

Mammon

She hated Mammon because of a conflict they had in the human realm years prior, and she wanted nothing to do with him even if he wanted to try and apologize.

Levi

Levi has long hair-

but these two were so awkward with each other. Painfully so. Asmo shoved them into this picture. It wasn't until Viz learned he had a pet snake did the two start to talk more. She loves to hear him ramble, but cannot keep up for the life of her.

Satan

Satan picked up on Vizzie's suppressed wrath, and helped her work through it after getting to know her fairly quickly after she came to Devildom. The two have become and stayed (yes, even over the Asmo arc, which if you're 18+ and a sucker for angst you can dm me) very close. He continues to help her, and she helps him with calming him down.

Asmo

She and Asmo had a difficult, but not a bad start. Upon first impressions, Viz saw right through the facade that Asmo had in regards to his confidence and how he saw himself in regards to "Im the Avatar of Lust" to "I'm a demon just like my brothers, and I'm allowed to not always be perfect especially at home where Im safe", and again with no fucks to give she told him exactly what she thought of him/the truth as she saw it when she got to see him in private. The way Satan helped her, she tried to help Asmo...except she was a bit rougher. Only because she didn't have very good social skills for people she cared for...customers and strangers are different.

Beel

Beel pretty much adopted Viz as a little sister. And she liked it. The two just kinda enjoy each others company.

Belphie

So Vizzie didn't go through the whole "being killed" thing to uh...balance out what I had happen to her later on, also she didnt live at HoL for the exchange program

Belphie's just a little shit and likes to bug her as much as he bugs Lucifer

He likes to mess with her placement of stuff and whatnot, and her perfectionism screams every time

And then he would play it off like he did nothing wrong

No pressure tags: @raccoon-carson @obey-r-us @reclusiveprincessofsharks @inkysninky @asmo-ds @ash-the-nekogirl @moemoemammon @undertaker-02 anyone else who wants to join! My brain died I cant remember any other URLS sorry fjdjdjdj

#v talks #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me oc #oc vizzie #tag game

24 notes · View notes

catsnraincoats-archive · 4 years ago

Text

slowburn au where Langa still lives in Canada and Reki is in Japan but they meet online n become friends

im thinking like. Maybe Langa accidentally went to a skateboarding forum and met Reki there, and they hit it off. So they talk a lot and Reki sends videos of him doing simple tricks to see if Langa could recreate them on a board and they spend a year or so doing that.

The time difference is a Problem but they still find time to video call and sometimes Reki would call him during class and try not to be caught. And sometimes when Reki learns a new trick he calls Langa just to show them and even if its two am there langa still picks up. And Langa memorizes when Reki wakes up and sends a "good morning!!" text every day

aaa and imagine at one point Langa and their mom go on a trip to Japan and Langa had never asked exactly where in Japan Reki lived but when he said they were going to Okinawa Reki laughed and asked which play they were staying at

And one time Langa sees a flash of red hair in a crowd near the hotel and then Reki spots him and jumps in to hug them which is how Langa learned that Reki lived here. Then his mom saw that he'd made a friend- turns out she knew his mom back in the day, actually- and they didnt have much to do that day so Langa spent it with Reki.

n Reki already knows Langa can skateboard kinda well- though theres a lot of trouble with dtability- so he brings him to S that night. And just for fun he goes against Shadow and wins (with duct tape, of course) and Reki's just "Holy shit I didn't know you were THAT good"

and Langa spends the night at Rekis house where Reki makes adjustments to his board and by the time hes done its like two am and even thought Langa is still on canadian time he falls asleep on Rekis shoulder and they stay like that until morning

and then the day after he has to go back home and he says goodbye to Reki but he cant stop thinking about how warm Reki was and how nice it would be to cuddle him in canadian winter under a hundred blankets. But thats all he thinks and he pushes any tjought that they might be in love out of their mind because no, this was just a friend. Just a really warm, loving, sweet friend who fixed up his board on the first day that they officially met and hugged a little too tight and who was even better in person than-

he was just a friend

Then a few days later Reki calls again and he seemed a little distant but, hey, maybe he was just tired from skating all day. He said there was a beef against a national team hopeful the night before so that was probably it. Or he could have been up all night making a new board. or something. Anything

then a few days later Langa wakes up to a text from Reki "1 attachment" and he opens it to see a photo of a letter. It has near handwriting but even still it takes Langa a few moments to read it and realize its a love note. Below it Reki's like "????? This was in my desk today????? what do I do???" "Respond to it??? who gave it to you" "This girl- Kaiya? She wants to meet up tmrw" and something in Langas chest sank but he didnt know why "Then you should meet up with her. It'd be cool to have a gf, right? Maybe she likes skateboarding, too." and then he adds on "I have an early class today, gtg" even though he didn't he just couldnt talk about reki and his potential girlfriend this early in the morninh

197 notes · View notes

moonlit-imagines · 4 years ago

Text

Headcanons for being an Avenger from outer space

Avengers x reader

warnings:

a/n: this isn’t great but like im down for some avengers hc requests

prompt:

you weren’t exactly accepted on earth the moment you got there

but it wasn’t long before the avengers spotted you

“state your name and your business here” -tony

“wait, stark, just a moment! are you a [alien species]?” -thor

“...my name is y/n, i had nowhere else to go. and yes, i am [alien species]”

i mean, this would be much cooler if the avengers hadn’t already had a bad run-in with the chitauri army

but at least you weren’t trying to destroy any part of earth

“why don’t you come with us for a while? you might be safer in our custody” -cap

you were very uncomfortable with that, but you believed that whatever you were running from couldn’t get you if you stayed with “earth’s mightiest heroes”

and that you were...sort of

the bounty hunters that were on your trail, they didn’t know much about the avengers

so they were dumb enough to strike first

luckily, the avengers took a liking to you

“this is for messing with our new friend!” -tony as he straight up fries one of these goons

you seemed to fight well with them

it made them want to keep you around more than they wanted clint

“having fun, y/n?” -nat

“honestly, yes! i’ve never kicked ass in a group before!”

“i felt the same way on my first mission with these guys” -nat

“wait...is this a mission?”

“well, yeah? what’d you think it was, chess?” -nat

“what? what’s chess?”

oh, my god, this was like thor all over again, it was gonna be great

once the battle was over, they had a question to ask you

but before that...

“did any of you kill the leader?” -you

“which one was the leader?” -sam

“the one with...with the face” *puts clawed hand in front of face for effect*

“thanks, that was really specific” -sam

“you know, he’s got...” *puts fingers near face* “tentacles?”

“you couldn’t say that first?” -tony

“i didn’t know if they were called tentacles here”

okay, that was fair

at that moment the mf hopped out and you pushed clint out of the way so that he didn’t get shot. he said “ow” :( but u were too busy tackling a fellow alien

“you let the rest of those hunters know that they shouldn’t even think about coming after me, are we clear?”

“you’re sparing me?”

“don’t be too flattered, you’re nothing but a messenger to me” *shoots him in the arm*

okay that was a power move

as you kicked this bounty hunter back into his ship, the avengers crew reapproached

“got any plans now that you’ve taken care of your little ‘issue?’” -cap

“you know, i haven’t really thought that far ahead”

“well, if you’re up for it, the avengers would love to have you” -nat

you couldn’t have agreed faster lmaoo

the government didnt like you much

the human population actually wasn’t too fond of you either

but the avengers wouldn’t let anyone touch you

thor made it his own mission to show you all the new stuff that he had discovered on earth

“and these are pop tarts!!” -thor

im talking animals, snacks, music, and more

and dont even get me started on parties

no actually i will

“so, youre from space? list 3 species i’ve never heard of before” -random partygoer

“well, how would you know im not making them up if you’ve never heard them before?”

not much of a comeback for that

you’d only answer questions that weren’t stupid

like “how far away is your home planet?” or “did you have any friends or family?” or “what other planets have you been on?”

and you had a lot of questions too

“what is pizza and where can i get it?”

“you’ve never had pizza? oh, we have to change that” -tony

“what is it though?”

as you went on more missions, you got a better feel for how to work with teammates

especially when they had such different skillsets

“wanda, would you give me a boost?”

“with pleasure!” -wanda

“why didn’t you ask me? i could have flewn you!” -rhodey

“it just feels cooler when wanda launches me, but i’ll let you have your turn later”

“y/n, we should have coffee after this!” -thor

“WHATS THAT?!?!”

you always got excited when offered new things

*muttering* “what the fuck” -you

“OKAY, WHO THE HELL TAUGHT Y/N CURSE WORDS???” -tony

“hm. i wonder” -nat

thor brought you to asgard once

it was pretty. (pretty wild, that is)

“maybe you can take me to your planet one day!”

“i’m pretty sure i’m wanted on my home planet, but i’d love a challenge!”

okay maybe he was ur new bff

“so, y/n, how long is your species’ life span?” -bruce

“im not sure that our measurements of time are exactly translated, but i believe in your time it would be....900 years?”

“oh...may i ask how old you are now?”

“wouldn’t you like to know...”

“...n-no, thats okay”

honestly? sometimes your days were nothing but lazy, so you’d learn about human pop culture

“‘tatooine?’ odd, that’s a planet in my solar system. do you think this ‘george lucas’ is an alien?” -you, lying

*cue the entire fucking team going nuts bc they’re about to believe this conspiracy*

okay but like. you KNEW about thanos. you just never thought he’d be a problem all the way out here

so when the whole thanos situation came to earth you were just kinda like 👉👈 sorry guys, shoulda said smth earlier

“you know who thanos is?” -dr. strange

“...yes. i do. he’s big. really big. and purple. kind of looks like a raisin. oh, yeah, he’s crazy. obsessed with balance.”

“balance? what do you mean by that?” -tony

“like, he likes to kill half of each population for ‘balance,’ you know?”

anyways you went back to space

“so, anything else about thanos we should know?” -tony

“he has 2 adoptive daughters, they’re both badass, i know then personally, he’s from the planet ‘titan,’ last of his kind, aaaand he has an army”

“we have a—wait, no we don’t” -tony

“are there aliens that lay eggs in people? or is that just a stereotype?” -peter

“peter, is it? i heard that you’re taught that there are no stupid questions, but that was a very stupid question”

“...i don’t know if that was a ‘yes’ or ‘no’” -peter

tony asked if you could fly the ship. no.

eventually making your way to titan

which was surreal since it had just been so long since you’d left earth

gotg in the house

“where’s gamora?”//“who’s gamora?” “why’s gamora?”//“you know gamora?” “you know gamora?”//“do you work for thanos?”//“no, i’m here to kill thanos”//“so you’re here to kill gamora?”//“what? no! gamora doesn’t work for thanos anymore, it’s been like 4 years”//“holy shit”

and then thanos popped in and nebula too and she recognized you and it was kinda awk but were just gonna pretend it didn’t happen bc it gets worse <3

u, tony, and nebula got trapped in a ship for like 3 weeks but it was good for catching up

and u met captain marvel and honestly youve just met too many people in the past few weeks u were not vibing

“so, y/n, miss space at all?” -tony

“up until we went back to space, yeah. i’m not leaving this planet ever again”

“we need to find thanos” -bruce

“fuck”

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedficrecs // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @thisetaernallove // @ofthedewthesunlight // @canarypoint // @zoeyserpentluck // @randomawesomeperson102 // @spideyandtheboys // @ghost-bich //

#avengers x reader #avengers #avengers imagine #marvel #marvel imagine #marvel x reader #tony stark imagine #nebula imagine #steve rogers imagine #natasha romanoff imagine #wanda maximoff imagine #avenger!reader

491 notes · View notes

xoxo-teddybear · 4 years ago

Text

Oh, The Lies You Tell - Bakugou Katsuki - pt. 1

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: angst, trauma, abuse, betrayal, fluff, slice of life, smut, cursing, manipulation, possible spoilers, physical harm, 18+

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

Ep. Warnings: cursing, mentions of abuse and manipulation, slice of life(ish), manga spoilers!!

A/N: Ok so this is just what I daydream about, and since ima tv addict, I’m involving some “Avatar: The Last Airbender” related things, but a little different. This is more of an introduction to our character but I hope you enjoy!

Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.4 Pt.5 Pt.6 Pt.7 Pt.8 Pt.9

Summary: It’s Y/N’s first day at UA.....as a “former” villain

“Y/N L/N. She’s a new transfer student. Treat her with your respect and do your best to take care of her.” The tired teacher spoke.

“.......Hey. Please treat me well.” The intimidating girl said as she bowed in respect.

Now if you were to see Y/N on the streets as a stranger, you wouldn’t even think she would have this threatening aura. The class agreed. She’s gorgeous. From a far, you would think she’s a sweetheart, But the girl had a cold, calm stare in her E/C eyes. There was actually no way to describe it. It was just chilling to the bone.

Not only that, but it was clear you were a little rebel. Mainly because of the way you decided to change up your uniform. Your sleeves were torn off to make your button up top some sort of tight fitted turtle neck with a tie that was complimenting your busty figure. Especially since it was tightly tucked into your skirt, pressing against your torso instead of loosely sitting in there like the other girls. You also added a small dark brown belt to cover where your skirt and top meet. Your waist gave the perfect show of how curvaceous you truly were. Your thighs were deliciously thick and your ass must’ve been a perfect peach, considering it caused your skirt to seem a little too small for you. Instead of the typical shoes and knee high socks, you opted for thigh high dark brown leather boots that folded at the top to match your belt. No heel though, of course. Gotta keep it casual. You finished off your rebellious look with a pair of black leather fingerless gloves. Do you look like trouble? Yup. Do you look hot as hell though? You bet.

“You may be seated next to Katsuki Bakugou.” Your new teacher spoke. Before anybody else could give an indication of who this “Bakugou” boy was, an electric blonde spoke up.

“Be careful with that one pretty lady, he’s our resident hot head.” The boy spoke while the entire class giggled.

“Shut it dunce face.” Your eyes shifted from one blonde to another. This time with a spiky head of ash blonde hair and piercing red eyes. As you walk towards your new seat, you made eye contact with the spiky blonde, you saw the look on his face. Just like everyone else, a face of fear and shock, except this time the person didn’t know who you were.

Bakugou could definitely say upon first glance, you were definitely something fierce. It threw him off just how powerful your presence was. He quickly turned away as you took your seat.

As class began, everyone had their eyes on Y/N. Some admiring her beauty, others wary of her aura, and some too nervous to mention their newfound fear of her. In the middle of Mr. Aizawa’s boring lecture, a scratch at the door could be heard.

‘A scratch?’ Everyone thought. But Y/N knew exactly who it was.

When Mr. Aizawa went to open the door, in came what appears to be a wolf-dog. Mr. Aizawa seemed to casually accept it and just expected you to explain. He was too tired to deal with this crazy shit.

“Oh..there you are Rumor. Took you long enough to find this place.” The creature, also somehow intimidating, simply just huffed at the girl and layed down next to her seat in between her and Bakugou.

“L/N, please explain to the class why Rumor is here. They clearly seem to be confused.” Y/N looked around the room to see her new classmates staring at her and her furry friend.

“*sigh* he’s my animal companion.” You simply stated. Apparently it didn’t satisfy your peers because a freckled, green haired boy spoke up.

“Animal companion? Like a service dog?” The timid boy asked. You secretly rolled your eyes at the fact you’ll have to answer this question again. That is until Bakugou spoke.

“You damn nerd, if he was a service dog, she woulda said that now, don’t ‘cha think?” ‘Dunce face and a damn nerd huh? Wonder what new nickname this hedgehog will give me.’ Your little quip made you give the smallest smile with a quiet laugh to yourself

What you didnt realize was that during your little moment, Bakugou was watching you the entire time. He fought the blush that was threatening to rise and successfully won. ‘The hell?’ Bakugou thought. Since when did he blush?

“He’s right. Rumor isn’t my service dog, he’s my animal companion. And no, not my pet. He’s more like a close friend. My best friend if anything. He’s also not a dog either, he’s a changeling.” You explained hoping someone else knew what a changeling was. Thankfully, the “damn nerd” did.

“Changeling? I thought they were just a myth.” He said. “What the heck is a changeling, Deku?” You turned and saw it was a girl with a round face and pink cheeks. ‘Deku? How rude’ you thought to yourself.

“Changelings were rumored to be magical like beasts who could take the form of any animal they chose. Those forms could be as real as eagles and bears or as mythical as dragons and unicorns. They could also change the size of their form too. Am I right, L/N?” Deku asked you.

“You’re completely right, Deku.” The green haired boy blushed at his nickname on your tongue. “Rumor can be any creature I command. His wolf-dog form is his casual form though. It’s the form he took at birth I guess.”

“You guess?” Bakugou asked.

“Yes, I guess. I didn’t have Rumor since he was born. I found him while I was on a walk in the forest. We just clicked, and he followed me home. That’s when I discovered his powers and what he was, and seeing that changelings were only rumored to have existed, I thought it would’ve been a fitting name. We’ve been together ever since, and not only does he work as a friend, he’s a fighter too. He’s like a partner to me which is exactly why principle Nezu allowed him to attend UA with me. I guess you could say he’s part of my...uhm..quirk” You thoroughly explained. You couldn’t help it. You loved talking about Rumor. He was your best friend and definitely one of a kind.

Rumor looked up at you and barked. You turned to pet him on the head and gave him a little smile. Something that didn’t go unnoticed by the resident hot head, which once again caused him to fight back a blush. ‘The fuck is going on with me today?’ The blonde thought to himself. Finally satisfied with the answers, the class picked up where they left off and continued to learn about quirks which didn’t seem all that useful to you since....you don’t have one.

——————————————————————————

Later

“Remember, we will all be meeting at gym gamma tomorrow morning, so don’t bother coming to the classroom. Just meet up there with any comfortable gym wear.” Mr. Aizawa said at the end of the day.

“Yes sir!” The class all said. “L/N stay behind, I need to speak to you and Rumor.” The tired teacher said with a yawn.

“Yes sir.” You calmly replied.

As the class gathered their things to leave, some came up to speak to you. First it was Deku and the round faced girl.

“Welcome to UA L/N. My name is Izuku Midoriya!” Deku said.

“Oh my apologies. I thought I heard that your name was Deku.” You said so nonchalantly with your sweet voice.

“Well it’s just a nickname that started up with Kacchan.” The boy was now blushing in slight embarrassment while rubbing the back of his head.

“Kacchan? I’m sorry, I don’t know who that is.” You said.

“Oh right! My bad, Kacchan is Bakugou. It’s a name I gave him during our childhood.” He stated.

“Seems a little mean.” You chuckled

“Yeah but he’s always been like that.” The boy smiled with a small laugh.

“I think I can tell. He must be really nice to Deku and Dunce face.”

You both shared a laugh at your little sarcastic poke at the explosive blonde that the girl was feeling a little left out.

“Anyways, I’m Ochako Uraraka! I was really hoping I could talk to you more but Deku over here can’t seem to keep his mouth shut.” the girl slightly teased.

“Meh. No worries. We’re gonna be stuck together for the next few years. We have plenty of time to get to know each other.” You so kindly spoke as you gathered your stuff.

“Totally! We can-“ Uraraka was cut off by a very handsome two toned boy with a scar. He definitely reminded you of some you knew. You watched as he came up to speak to Midoriya.

“Hey, Midoriya. Did you want to...” you tuned out his conversation. You simply just stared at him in awe. No doubt about it. He was definitely Dabi’s brother. But he was a whole lot more handsome.

The boy caught onto your staring and introduced himself.

“Hello L/N, my name is Shoto Todoroki. You may know me from my father, Endeavor, but I assure you, I’m nothing like him. In fact it’s safe to say I hate him.” He stated ever so calmly. ‘Wow. So blunt. And I guess hating Endeavor runs in the family’

“Hey it’s fine. I get it, daddy issues.” You nervously laughed but this seemed to strike an interest in Todoroki as he seem to have wanted to continue bashing both of your fathers until he was interrupted by Bakugou.

“You’re in my way Icy-hot.” ‘Jeez, another nickname?’ You thought.

“Then move to another side.” Todoroki quickly came back with.

This caused you to now openly give a quiet laugh, you could already tell what kind of relationship those two have. During your small laugh, Bakugou once again caught himself staring, except this time, he was caught. And it was by you.

You both made eye contact once again. As he stared into your E/C colored eyes, and you stared into his rubied gems, you both grew a slight blush on your cheeks and the 3 standing next to you both took notice.

“Hey..” you sweetly said.

“..........hey.” He replied and quickly looked away embarrassed. That peaceful little moment made your heart stir. Something that hasn’t happened in a long time. If felt calming, loving, happy...and weird and confusing. Thankfully, Dunce face came up to flip the switch.

“Wow Kacchaaannn,” the electric blonde said wiggling his brows. “Never seen you blush like that. You got a little crush on the new gir-“

“SHUT UP SPARK PLUG!” Bakugou exclaimed as he quickly made his way out of the classroom.

“Hey why you gotta be so mean all the time man!” Dunce face cried out.

“I SAID SHUT UP” Bakugou screamed from down the hall. ‘Well he certainly is interesting.....and cute’

“Ah jeez, whatever,” the blonde sighed before you seemed to have caught his attention.

“Well hey there pretty lady,” he started “I’m Denki Kaminari and you are one gorgeous girl. And you definitely got a rockin’ bod-“ he was cut off by our scary teacher.

“That’s enough Kaminari, I need to speak to L/N. Now all of you, out.” He commanded.

They all took their leave thinking about how cool and kind you were. Oh how wrong they were. The little act you put up sure was convincible. Hell, the only thing you genuinely meant was that Todoroki and Bakugou were cute and the blush that came up whenever Bakugou stared at you. You still couldn’t explain it but you brushed it off.

When all were gone, you mentally took notes of their names and possible quirks.

Izuku Midoriya. Alias: Damn Nerd and Deku. Quirk: unknown.

Ochako Uraraka. Alias: unknown. Quirk: unknown.

Shoto Todoroki. Alias: Icy-hot. Quirk: possibly related to cold and heat

Denki Kaminari. Alias: Dunce Face and Spark Plug. Quirk: possibly related to electricity

Katsuki Bakugou. Alias: Kacchan. Quirk: unknown

“L/N.” Your teacher snapped you out of your quick thought and got you focused.

“You seemed to be very comfortable with telling them about Rumor.” Mr. Aizawa said with an eyebrow raised.

“Well he is my best friend. I could go on and on about Rumor for hours if people didn’t stop me. And you can’t lie, he is pretty interesting. Especially his fighting style. You would know all about that, wouldn’t you....Eraser Head?” You said with a sinister smile.

You were well aware that Aizawa knew Rumor’s capabilities very well. You were also aware he knew much about yours too. I mean, you both have fought each other before. And one of you almost didn’t make it out alive. Hint hint, it wasn’t you.

“You are to address me as Aizawa Sensei or Mr. Aizawa, Titania.” He sternly said.

“Ouch, the villain name? I thought the past was the past. There’s a good inside me, dont you remember? You were the one who said it after all. You were even the one who recommended an S-Class villain like me should join UA.” You snidely replied.

*flashback*

As you fought against the skilled pro, you could tell he was getting weaker and weaker by the second. You used your air bending to push him back, crushing him into the wall, and keep him far away. Before you could send Rumor in to finish the job, a hand on your shoulder stopped you.

“Kurogiri? What are you doing here?” You stopped fighting and quickly turned to your superior in a fearful and shaky manner. Although you were much stronger than him and could easily take him down, you knew better. Your mind had already been so manipulated into thinking you were the weakest villain in the league, when it reality, you were strong enough to take down Shigaraki in a snap...but you didn’t need to know that.

Eraser Head, too tired and beaten to even pick himself up off the ground watched the interaction from the distance.

“You were told to collect intel, not fight a pro.” The black fog stated.

“Well yes, but he tried to stop me an-“ he silenced you with a smack to the face. Kurogiri was a respectful man...in ways...but he was just following orders on how to treat Y/N.

“If he tried to stop you, you run away.” He said, matter of factly.

“But he-“ once again, he cut you off but this time with a louder voice.

“But nothing! You were to gather intel and report back to base. Not fight. If you got into trouble, you are to run away, and use your bending and Rumor as assistance.” He stated.

“Yes sir. I’m sorry sir.” You said with your head bowed down in dishonor.

Aizawa could already tell from afar how controlled you were. In past fights, he’s noticed how you were so quick to succumb to any villain in the league, and you were always so willing to go back to them no matter how many times you could’ve ran away on your own. It was like they had something you needed, or more so it was them that you needed. For survival, perhaps?

“Did you even gather the information we needed?” Kurogiri asked.

Your silence gave him all the answers he needed. With a disappointing glare he reached for you, when you flinched at just the slighted movement, Aizawa knew something was wrong. Yes you were a villain, but it was clear you were also a manipulated child. So he acted quick, and attacked Kurogiri, knocking him out, and grabbed you. Before you both took off, you threw one of your earrings at kurorgiri’s unconscious body, knowing he’ll know what to do once he sees it. As he ran with you, he took notice of the animal behind him that followed you. When he finally landed on a cliff hanging over the city, he placed you down to sit on the grass and looked at you before speaking.

“I can see it. All of it. They’re controlling you aren’t they?” The pro-hero spoke.

“Excuse me? Nobody is controlling anybody! I choose to follow orders!” You yelled as Rumor came up to you.

“What is that thing?” Aizawa asked.

“He’s my friend and you won’t harm him!” You said while grabbing onto Rumor.

The pro took note of that word you used. Friend. Villains don’t have friends, they don’t have anybody but goons and partners in crime. Literally. You were definitely different compared to these other villains.

“I have no intentions on harming you or your friend.” The pro spoke.

“So what do you want with me.”

“....Simple. I want you to go to school, live in the dorm rooms, eat good food, train more to become better as a person and fighter, and make more friends. I see a good in you Titania, you deserve a good life. Not one controlled by villains where you do their bidding for what? Survival?” Aizawa said as he crossed his arms while looking at you.

You were in shock. He was able to figure you out. Well, he figured out why you were with the league. Survival. But it doesn’t matter, you were so brainwashed that you were convinced anyone outside the league wanted to kill you...at least that’s what the LOV told you.

“I don’t want to go to school, I want to go back home to the league.” You said while looking down and holding onto your furry friend.

“Home? UA could give you a better home.”

You looked up in shocked at his words. He wanted you to attend school at UA? You know that place. That’s the one place where the league has been so invested in ever since All Might joined the staff there. Suddenly, an idea came into thought. You knew exactly how you were gonna get into the league’s good graces and out of the cold shadow.

“UA?....That’s where you want me to go? How the hell am I supposed to get in there? I’m a known villain genius.” You sarcastically said.

“A villain hidden behind a full face mask. People don’t know your true identity, and did you ever think that maybe the league wants it that way?” He said

“Are you saying you know who I truly am?” You questioned him.

“No, but that doesn’t matter right now. If you want to go to UA, I can help you. I’m a teacher there and I can put in a good word for you. Sure it will take a lot of convincing but I’m willing to do it. Using UA as a reformatory program for you could be benefitting you in more ways than one. So if going to UA is what you really want, I’m more than happy to help you Titania.”

You couldn’t believe it. Your heart was so excited. You were finally going to get away from this horrible life of crime and killing. Away from the abuse and blood. Away from the league. But your brain was telling you to deny it all. You were safer with the league, everyone is out to get you, and you will die without the villains help. But a bark broke you out of thought.

You turned to your side to see what seems to be a smile on Rumor’s face. He was wagging his tail and sticking his tongue out while giving you puppy dog eyes. It appears he knew what was going on and he seemed excited. For your best friend, the world. So you gave in...happily.

“Y/N.” You said while getting up off the ground.

“Huh?” The pro spoke.

“My name is Y/N L/N, and I’d be happy to join UA.” You said with a smile and tears of joy filling you eyes. Rumor happily barked at the pro as well.

“Well alright then,” the pro said sticking out his hand for you to shake, “Y/N L/N, welcome to UA.”

As you shook his hand your smile held a thousand words. Happiness, excitement, villainy, and sin. Sure you were going to benefit yourself, but you were also going to benefit the league.

*Present Time*

“I was hoping I’d get more respect from you considering I was the one who got you into UA,” Aizawa tiredly said while turning his head towards the ceiling and crossing his arms. “But I guess that mischief and attitude just comes with the deal.”

“Correct.” You simply said.

“So are you willing to tell them what your “quirk” is? You seemed so open about Rumor, I thought your powers would be the same.” Aizawa pressed on.

“Not sure yet. I only just met the students. They seem nice.” You said while looking at your now very interesting shoes.

“They’re a crazy bunch, but they’re incredible friends. They could be great friends to you too Y/N.” You looked back up at him with hope, but quickly remembered why you were there in the first place.

The teacher took noticed of this and continued. “Either way, they’ll have to see what you got tomorrow. In gym gamma we’ll be doing some sparring including our quirks, so you’ll have to show them all that you can do.” He said.

He saw how that made you nervous. Not because you were scared to speak about or show your abilities, but because you knew you would be hit with thousands of questions. Oh how annoyed you must be.

“Understood.” You said to him as if you were a soldier. He won’t get used to that. He’ll have to make sure you know it’s ok to speak to people as..well people, and not like everyone is your superior.

“Good,” he began to walk to his yellow sleeping bag to pick it up, “now head to the front of the school. I left an escort for you to help guide you to your dorm room. That person will also be a guide in all things UA for you so be nice. You’ll be stuck with them for awhile. That is all, you can go now.”

As you and Rumor made your way to the front, you had so many questions going on in your mind. Should you make new friends or keep them at a distance? Should you completely drop the league and join UA? Should you blow your cover and expose why your truly there? What to do, what to do.

When you made it to the front, you finally saw your escort, and you couldn’t help but give a little smirk.

“Hey..”

A/N: If y’all wanna see the clothes that inspired Y/N’s uniform, check this out!!!

A/N: Damn guys, I know I’ve only just started writing but this is kinda the story I imagine in my mind at night. So I thought it would be fun to give it to reality. So here’s my first FanFic😅 hopefully it doesn’t turn out too terrible, but I promise to work on my skills and improve. Also, if you need a reference to what Y/N’s uniform looks like, search up “Akame from Akame Ga Kill.” That’s the look that heavily inspired Y/N’s new uniform. And if you’re confused on what the boots look like, search up “Lucy Heartfilia thigh high boots,” bc those are the EXACT boots I imagine on Y/N except in a darker brunette color to match the belt. Once again, NOT spell checked so my apologies for any mistakes. I hope you enjoyed pt. 1! And if this goes well, tell me if you’d like a pt. 2! I love to hear feedback! Thx <3

344 notes · View notes